LuLu

Reasons to be Cheerful

Well this week we saw a rare and lovely snowfall that made our village into a winter picture postcard within three hours.  In celebratory fashion, Alison invited us to a street snowball fight and who were we to deny her some fun.  We had a great time showing all, that you are never too old to enjoy the snow.  Of course, once suitably dried out , we joined Alison and Chris for drinks, Mahler and Reeves & Mortimer ( I think I needed more drink for that last one).

Friday I achieved so much in lots of areas, I noticed the sunshine and Suzy popped in of a quick cupp and catchup. Then I joined Michelle and Lee for drinks and nibbles, ending by coming back via Alison's house playing knocky nine doors (first time for me).  Now any of you that have been to the Thompson's, know that they are more than generous with the proportions of alcohol, big measures in big glasses and three G and T's cause you to stagger home. Well at Michelle's it took two and I was quite drunk, even with food. Say no more.

So suitably tired and a little hung over the following morning, we joined Frank and Mayling for coffee at a seafront cafe.  Coffee was ok, (we are fussy) but company was great.

Last night I have to thank Suzy first for letting us know about the M&S Valentine offer and Mayling for the film.  M&S have to be commended for their idea of a three course meal with a bottle of bubbly and the choice was exceptional.  ( I think I will write and tell them).  I chose Scallops, Sirloin Steak, chips and Mediterranean vegetables and finished off with chocolate pudding with cream.  We washed this all down with a bottle of sparkling Rose, listening to some ambient music. Really nice.  Then we watched La Vie en Rose, a film featuring the life of Edith Piaf (meaning little sparrow).  It was both thrilling and disturbing, leaving me quite tearful at the end, but so well executed, I didn't mind.

Today, I have felt like the clocks have been turned back, because its been quite long, but first thing I popped to Asda for some coffee and lunch and guess what Illy is back on their shelves, I believed it was only a matter of time.  So I went mad and bought extra strong, strong and decaf, cooked a fabulous lunch and popped to see the first half of the Alleycats gig, with a sneak preview of the Album cover.

Tonight, we are considering a very unhealthy fry up of halloumi cheese, king prawns in sesame seed batter thingy and green Thai fishcakes all with sweet chilli sauce.  Yes, we raided our freezer.

Reasons to be cheerful indeed.

A Good Book

Words cannot do justice to the love, support and best wishes I have received, from the people that haven chosen to be part of my life.  Their friendship makes me feel wealthy and most of all... loved.

A dear friend of mine recently said I am like a good book and as each chapter ends, I leave a cliff hanger and they wait for the next edition.

I take this as a huge compliment, in that, they find me and my life interesting enough to stick around and see what is next.

This leads me to thinking what would that book be about, if I were to write it. I have had many unique experiences and I have many memories, but there are gaps? So what will link these? Well... the plainly obvious one, is emotions.  Our lives are a constant emotional journey, to interpret right from wrong or wrong from right, both need to be experienced and they are, as none of us are perfect. Sadness-happiness, giving-receiving and many more are the common denominator in all lives, but depending on how much we experience these and what we learn from them or choose to learn, will not only define how we see ourselves, but how others see us.

So far we have looked at emotions, experiences but most importantly choices, so what separates us is what we learn from the above, how we interpret that information and from there our future constantly evolves.

As individuals we often ask ourselves and others would we change anything?  Those that have many experiences, emotions, choices, will more than likely say no, because it is the make up, that makes them who they are and it balances us or not and given a wider perspective of life  makes us a little wiser or not.

Obviously, all the above is a simplistic view and the people, for the most, their families, plays a huge part in defining who they are and how they behave, but sooner or later it is about choice.

From this we become individual and that's what makes us all interesting.  We are all capable of writing a good book, but its whether we choose to do so.

Would you?

Fighting Battles.

 

 My name is Rebecca and its been....well....a little while since my last blog.

Due to the nature of my business, its been a busy time.

   

Christmas went fairly smoothly and New Year, well we got through it, like most people.

So what lies ahead, a very busy time for me, I have an enormous pile of paperwork to do, some health things to sort out and forward planning for the rest of the year.  I am going to try and take on board a comment I heard recently, 'you will only ever be happy when you accept who you are and be grateful for what you have'.

I am currently seeking part-time employment to help support the business initially and then home.  This will have to work around Kieran of course, as I have no family to call on and he needs me for another couple of years.  Its going to be a difficult one, as many businesses go into administration, but you have to keep fighting.

Speaking of fighting, Emily is three tomorrow and there is never a day when I don't think about her courage and determination, despite her disabilities.  I have been reminded of it through my own parents visit over the festive season.

 

How fragile they are now, but they said they can't complain as Emily is facing a lifelong battles.  She knows no different, is that easier? I dont' think so, pain is pain, but here in this picture, despite what is going on inside,she continues to develop and take life as it comes.

So as the financial crisis hits the country, my business and my home in various ways, the latest being the break down of three cars, I ask myself, has it been an unlucky start?  Maybe , but I know that everyone is fighting  some kind of battle and all we can do is try and help and support each other.

All matter of things and nothing.

Well its coming up to that time of year, when the stress levels rise and the mind won't switch off, hence writing this blog at 3am.

I have a contract to win this week, fingers crossed, customers to please and my parents visiting in three weeks time for two weeks.  I have never had anyone for Christmas Day before, not because I am mean or anything,  just no room to stay or distance, or both has prevented it.   I am sad I won't be able to give them as much attention as they deserve, that it will be a fairly erratic time and Ian is working Boxing Day, but they are aware.

This last week I have been unwell, not helped by the doctors not letting me know, I needed antibiotics ( they usually are good), but gladly on the mend now.  Last night we went out to see the Alley Cats and Ian  took photos, while I sat with Mayling and did some dancing towards the end of the night.  Not a pub I would go to again, but wanted to show Frank our support for his new song, which he wrote himself.  He is a great entertainer and has a big heart.

So I have just had an email from Dubai, enquiring about Christmas Hampers, so will answer it an attempt that luxury called sleep.

A Colourful Day

     

           

Credit Crunch v Life Crunch

For the past twelve months, we have been hearing about the credit crunch and through my own experiences with the business, Simon’s job working in repossessions and Ian’s bankruptcy, I am certainly more aware of its effects. For the first time in many months I have begun to notice an air of financial caution and this is bad enough in itself, but more seriously, in some cases, in a less obvious way, the past year has seen several of my friends and family go through and continue to go through, pretty difficult times with their health, finance or relationships. I do think some of the above is due to the credit crunch, in that as a society we have become greedy, self-obsessed and pretty selfish, but as working hours become longer, expectations are raised and even the weather remains unpredictable, something has to give. I have offered advice when asked, helped where possible and most importantly listened. Concentrating on others can bring its own rewards and be very humbling up to a point.... ...

I have had some vivid dreams of late indicating change and me resisting those changes. Last week I dreamt a huge wave looming behind terraced houses, while I ran through the streets trying to avoid being drowned. My interpretation of this is that time is running out and that sooner rather than later, these matters will have to be faced and dealt with. Over the last couple of years and particularly the last twelve months, I have been the subject to some horrible personal attacks, directly and indirectly, usually as a result of jealousy and sometimes through sheer nastiness. In the main, I have managed to rise above it, telling myself, not to lower myself to their level, but it has taken its toll and consequently has had a huge effect on me, my family and my business, more than you would know. I have developed a professional face which I admit has faltered at times.

I have cried so many tears and being overwhelmed at the most awkward of times, during working hours, driving, walking along the street, in the company of friends, but I feel generally hiding it well at most times. I have questioned who I am, my personality, how I behave, dress, speak and react. I have suffered from major paranoia, low self-esteem and what can only be described as a general sadness, not unlike a dark cloud following me around that intermittently bursts into the biggest downpour. All of the above has made me question where I live, my involvement in the community and where my business is going. All have suffered and I wonder some days if my business will survive another year, at the same time knowing that some would like it to fail and say ‘I told you it would’. Their malice doesn’t make me want to succeed or fight back, maybe it should? Instead I feel sorry for those people who clearly have unfulfilled lives and probably can’t deal with their own problems and usually blame others for their own unhappiness. So is this a sob story, that’s not my intention? I just felt the need to share something, to let people know that I am there for them, but not always, for all of the above reasons.

There is an upside, I have family and friends who love and even like me for who I am, how I act what I wear, how much press I get and all my faults too. I have many great experiences of life and with that bring a greater of understanding of people and why they act the way they do. I know my family and friends want me to succeed, to keep rising above it, to keep going, but most of all they want me to be happy and maybe one day, that day may come. I know that when I learn to love myself, most of the above will disappear There will always other people who will want to have what you have or think they do and they are the ones to be sorry for, because for them the life crunch won’t be temporary.

Things I must do before I die....

The list is quite long and some of it I am unaware of as yet, but over the last week I have done a couple of things for the first time. 

I went to Yorkshire and had my first pyjama day, that is, stayed in pyjamas all day.Due to Ian wanting us all breakfasted  by 10.30am ( brought on by clearing the kitchen by 8am, 9am and so forth), and hating the thought of anyone been in their jim jams all day, this small but significant thing was something I just wanted to do once and I achieved this last week. Thanks Michelle.

Another thing, for which I am a little ashamed to admit is that in my entire cooking life, I have never made Yorkshire Puddings, as I have always had someone else to do them or just bought them ready made.  So on Monday, I took the plunge, got the recipe, followed the instructions and wow, they rose to an acceptable height and tasted wonderful.

I wonder what I will do next.....

Happy 50th Birthday Paddington Bear

Today, it is Paddington is celebrating his fifth birthday and I have to say is looking well on it.

He is one of the few things  that have been with me through my childhood, that of my children and now to Emily.

I always wanted a Paddington Bear to talk to and although I never quite understood his love for marmalade,  I managed to compromise with Silvershred.

May he continue to bring happiness to more children and best wishes for the next fifty years.

Que Sera Sera

Today I am singing this song.

When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother
What will I be?
Will I be pretty?
Will I be rich?
Here's what she said to me:

Que sera, sera.
Whatever will be, will be.
The future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera.
What will be, will be.

When I grew up and fell in love
I asked my sweetheart
What lies ahead?
Will we have rainbows
Day after day?
Here's what my sweetheart said:

Que sera, sera.
Whatever will be, will be.
The future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera.
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own.
They ask their mother,
What will I be?
Will I be handsome?
Will I be rich?
I tell them tenderly:

Que sera, sera.
Whatever will be, will be.
The future's not ours to see.
Que sera, sera.
What will be, will be.
Que sera, sera.

September

September

September is the Roman word for Septem meaning number seven, as it was the seventh month in the Roman Calender.  I find this interesting as seven is supposed to be my lucky number and many memorable moments have occurred on the 7^th, 17^th and 27^th of the month.  I won a £40, 000 makeover on the 7^th August and they started work on the 7^th September. I met Ian on the 27^th July; I won my contract for the Ronan Keating Concert on the 7^th September and so on....

September is Harvesting time and traditionally corn dollies were made during this month, as people believed that the corn goddess lived in the corn and would die when harvested, unless some of the corn was saved.

Many famous people were born in September, Elizabeth 1, Nelson, George Cadbury,  some great triumphs, Penicillin was discovered and on the date of my birthday Sir Francis Drake returned to Plymouth on the Golden Hind becoming the first British Navigator sail the earth.  Some other interesting  little titbits... William the Conqueror died, Fish Fingers first went on sale, the National Anthem was sang for the first time, the first public passenger train service began here in the North East between Stockton and Darlington, ITV started, the first public lending library opened, Parliament constituted  the UK, the  Second World War was declared, the Great Fire of London raged for four days and finally Britain adopted the Gregorian Calender.

So in my September, Kieran started a new school and loves it, Emily had a big operation and is recovering well, I ventured out of Newbiggin for the third time this year, I also had my first week off this year, Zara booked her Wedding for next June at Matfen Hall, Zara celebrated her birthday, it was the 7^th anniversary of Zara, Simon and Sophie’s dads death, my sister and my dad celebrated their birthday along with some of our friends Caitlin, Frank Bertorelli, Lyndsey and myself (Christmas time has a lot to answer for). I spent many an hour looking for vintage wear and have learned about wiggle, rockabilly and burlesque shoes and dresses. We have been to castles, out for meals, the gym, running, and gigs. The house has been painted, the dog has had his hair cut, Kieran has won a place on the school football team, joined the sailing club and is doing curling in PE. Sophie has a job, so she can get another one and Simon has settled in back home.